Shower drama

     I hope no one who knows me IRL reads this blog.  This is such a long story that I probably wont be able to explain the whole thing completely and I will seem like a brat. So I assumed (first mistake) my mom would take the baby shower on with excitement and with the assistance of my SIL would throw me a shower. Somehow (I figured out a lot but not this) my second cousins are planning and holding my shower. Supposedly the mother called my mom and offered to throw my shower and my mother accepted. Now I have never been married so my mother has never has the fun of throwing any showers for her only daughter.  She seems excited for the baby. She has gone shopping with me at numerous stores and consignments. She helped with the curtains and etc in the nursery. Anyway back to the shower. My mother handed off my shower and supposedly knows nothing about the planning. She never asked my SIL anything. I with my mother and her sisters/mother, we planned her bridal shower and baby shower.
     So I have made comments to my mom over the last few months about a shower and she just played  dumb. She did ask for 75 of the registry cards when she came with my SIL, niece, and myself to register at BRU.  She asked me for my friends addresses in January. So I assumed she was planning a shower with my SIL (another mistake was assuming).
     I am due April 13th and as of two weeks ago nothing was moving on the registry. I was getting weird  questions from people asking if I was having a shower. I started stressing to one friend. I am a planner and need to be organized, ready, and etc.  So about a week and a half ago and two weeks before the date of the shower, I received an invite to one of my second cousins surprise party's.  When I mentioned it to my mom, I got two weird responses. First, she said that she was surprised how far apart that cousin and my youngest brother were age. Then when she was opening her mail, she looked at the invite and stuck it back in the envelope without a word. Later I would wonder if it was because the real invite was there too!
     So I figured out on the date the invite arrived by asking a very good friend some leading questions. This was the friend who already knew how concerned I was about time frame. I was shocked when I realized that my shower was being thrown by theses particular cousins. Now mind you, I love these cousins and appreciate their generosity but all that I kept thinking was about how my mom just let my shower go to someone else. Her only daughters only shower. Then I thought oh no what about my SIL did my mom even let her have any involvement?  Was I over reacting? Was I just hormonal?
It gets worse.  My mom truly knew very little about the planning. Now my mom and dad still both work full time and they aren't rich but they aren't struggling either. So she just let others take my shower and didn't know anything.  She didn't know the menu when someone asked what they could bring. She didn't know where the invites were when it was two weeks away.
     And the thing that really had me pissed off! She took friends off the list like 12 friends because she found out that they were going to do a little surprise shower during a game night that we do once a month. Really, these are people I see everyday. I asked many of them for their addresses myself.  They are a big support system for me.  I had the hardest time making that list for her and then she took very important people off the list.  I have no clue what she is thinking and at this point I need to let it go until after the shower.
     There is so much more to add. She did not include my SIL in any planning and I don't feel she considered my niece who is her own grand daughter.  My dads side of the family doesn't even know those who are hosting because they are second cousins on my moms side.  We don't do regular family events like holidays and birthdays with them.  Maybe I am too much of a control free but I wouldn't let someone who volunteers take over my daughters shower!
     I fear that I am only going to be more and more disappointed in my mother after I have my own child. I am sure things she has promised me, she will forget and not do.  She has made comments about babysitting for certain events and now I am wondering if I can really count on her!